I’m very unapologetic when I chant fvck the patriarchy and all it’s enablers. Seriously, fuck the patriarchy.
From the time I was little I was always told about the things that were expected from me as a womxn.
I was told that I needed to know how to cook, clean, look presentable, have a working uterus, look sexy, be nice to guys and smile for them, talk but not too loudly, think but not critically, remain a virgin until one worthy penis made me a womxn and be at the beck and call of the three legged human.
If we are being totally honest, I was okay with all this as a little girl. I mean what else did I know? This definition fit all the womxn I looked up to.
My mom had bought me a little kitchen set that had a jiko, and sufuria making me one of the most famous children in my plot.
Each time I remember us role playing, I never wanted to be anything but a mom. It was my purpose because I was a girl and girls were created to have babies and husbands and take care of them.
But as I grew up, I found myself naturally not a fan of “cooking” or “cleaning” and having thoughts about not wanting to bear children or get married.
As I aged more I realized that in many ways, I was not the ideal society womxn. I failed to fit “in my place” as a womxn and I was okay with this. I felt that I was more.
I used the airquotes to indicate gendered roles, I do not believe in them. I once saw a discussion between Kamene and Kibe that wanted to know if the kitchen belongs to the womxn.
The kitchen belongs to the one who feels hungry.
When I began being vocal about these thoughts, I remember one of the most common responses I got and still get is: You are just playing hard to get because you are young, wait until you get to 26 you will be chasing men to marry you.
By the time I began rebelling these social norms and their stupid logics I did not fully understand how patriarchy governed a big part of my life.
The more I became vocal the more it began to become clear to me that this world is conditioned for the man, by the man. And that’s why we need feminism.
We need feminism because in 2019, 118 womxn were killed through acts of sexual and gender based violence.
The govt remains silent of implementation of harsher penalties and safe houses for womxn.
We need feminism because over 40pc of womxn have experienced physical or sexual violence in their lifetime.
We need feminism because womxn who are unmarried or do not have children are two times more likely to be denied contraception by health care workers than those with kids or are married.
The same womxn will be stigmatized for bearing children “without husbands”.
We need feminism because abortion laws only protect unborn babies without placing policies to ensure these children live a full life after they are born.
We need feminism because womxn have died on abortion tables because they did not want to be stigmatized for having children “without men and marriage”.
We need feminism because girls are still unable to access sanitary products and end up using wool, clothes or old blankets while others exchange sex for pads.
We need feminism because the govt thinks having a male governor and a female deputy solves gender inequality.
We need feminism because our womxn leaders are not feminists. They are patriarchy enablers and enhancers for political clout.
We need feminism because police and healthcare professionals are not equipped with proper training to deal with survivors of sexual and physical violence.
We need feminism because “it’s a man’s world” and it’s apparently okay to deny womxn their basic human rights.
And this is just a scratch of the surface.
Feminism is here to show womxn that they are more than defined characters to soothe the male ego. Womxn are more than moms, more than wives, more than vaginas.
Womxn are human beings.
I’ve been a feminist for a hot minute now, and in this duration I have been told that I hate men, I am destryoing society and even once a full grown man told me I deserve to be raped for calling out harrassment.
The biggest shocker anti feminists have is when we tell them that feminism is not about men. It’s never been about men and it will never be about men.
Feminism is by womxn, for womxn.
Do not tell me about the struggle, I live it on a daily.
With this in mind, we do not have male feminists. We only have male feminist-allies. You do not live the struggle, please stay in your lane.
I’m excited to begin this journey, I am in the process of unlearning and relearning so much.
A Feminist in Progress proud to be a daughter of the witches your forefathers could not burn.
Remember, in every universe, in every timeline, in every dimension fuck the patriarchy!